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Saturday, January 7, 2012

Today I ate a biscuit and an old guy undressed me with his eyes.

So, today we took a day off. It started early with a trip to the local-ish place the has great biscuits.  It's a strange-cool place that is in an almost renovated house so it is small.  It's the kind of place where, if you decide to have a private conversation, you can share all of your secrets with the locals, who are sitting and pretending to read a book.

This is also a place where you can run into old men who still look at women in that way. You know, the icky way.

I was minding my own business, going to fetch the coffee (it's serve yourself and we ALWAYS forget that) after I took a bathroom break, one that I didn't really need, but I felt like I had to pee because I'm old and have the old lady bladder, which didn't seem to bother this old guy one bit because he totally checked me out.

I mean, he made absolutely no secret about it which was truly appalling to me because he was like almost twice my age (I say almost because I'm getting to the age where people who are truly twice my age are dead.) But look, this guy was close. That's all I'm sayin'. And yet, he was still checking out my - legs I think. Or maybe he's so used to looking at old lady boobs, which tend to be located at about where my mid thighs are, that he forgot that a woman my age (which is almost half his) would have breasts that are located slightly higher, mostly thanks to the fact that I finally adjusted that bra strap I was talking about the other day. But, anyway, ew.

Now Dave didn't think that this incident was necessarily a bad thing - and he said so, after I told him later in the car when safely away from the big ears of the locals. He thought I should be flattered.

I tried to explain to him that women are not flattered by an old man ogling them unless he does it while holding a wad of cash in one hand, an impressive stock portfolio in the other and a note from the doctor stating that he has only about 6 months to live - (which he would have had to post to his forehead because he would be out of hands at this point. ) I guess in Guy World, getting looked at by any woman of any age is cause for celebration. Dave pretty much admitted that since he said that he rather enjoyed it if old ladies came onto him, which happens more frequently than one would imagine, but that's another story for another day.

But back to the frisky old people subject, all I have to say is holy crap I may never have sex again if I have to think about this any longer. So, in conclusion, it is not flattering for a woman to get "the eye" from an old guy and is, in fact, only a reminder that pretty soon these will be the only men even acknowledging her existence and pretty soon even these guys will be dead and unless she has the impressive stock portfolio, cash and doctor's note she will never get even a glance.

Which is fine by me because by then my boobs will be dragging on the floor anyway and no bra in the world is going to help.

On the way home we stopped at the library where I returned the books I did not read and I checked out some books on gardening for the garden I will never create.

Awesome.