Friday, January 15, 2010

Turns Out I CAN be bought.

So yesterday Dave was almost arrested.

See, he's one of those rare breed of Canadians - you know - the kind that get downright angry at injustices. No, no, not injustices done to people from faraway lands, but personal injustices, in this case, of the technological kind.

Ok, here's the setup otherwise known as

The Recipe for Disaster.

I allowed an Asus update to happen on my Asus computer (otherwise known as Computer from New Country) which is by the way only 3 months old. My computer froze. So I shut it down and it never started up again. Let's go back to the 3 month thing. See, three months ago I suffered one crash and all that goes with that which I will not mention in detail here because I'm sure you know what I mean. Now I was faced with another crash and resulting bullshit and well, I freaked out. Because I'm so not Canadian that way. Think more NYC.

The Situation

Dave, fresh from witnessing my frenzy took the computer back to the store where we purchased it. That would be Staples by the way. They said the tech would look at it. The tech looked at it and said that most likely the motherboard was done for because these guys are vague like that. Look it's not a science -right? - wait a second.....

Anyway, so far, so good or bad depending on whether you're talking about the service or the diagnosis.

But then Staples simply gave Dave an 800 number to call and said "See ya."

Now Dave, with still lingering visions of my freak out and most likely fearing an even greater one upon delivering the bad news (but in reality he should have known that I already knew what was going to happen because I'm psychic that way) started to get angry. He dialed the 800 number (while still in the store) and was on hold for way too long only to receive even further instructions that require that HE pack the computer and that HE leave it for the UPS man and that HE wait days and maybe a week for it to be resolved, and then a silicone chip inside his brain got switched to overload.

And in front of a lot of customers Dave yelled at the manager about things like standing by their products and being quick to take customer's money and not so quick to insure their satisfaction and then I think he started ranting about some political stuff and talking shit about people who ride bicycles and wear clogs and the manager heard nothing because he was most likely raised by a guilty single parent who was careful not to cause any further scarring so any and all criticisms were most likely delivered in a soft voice and were more suggestions than anything else and always ended with "if that's ok with you honey."

So the manager's response to this was "Stop yelling at me" the classic comeback used by most four year olds.

Naturally Dave didn't stop so the manager said that if he didn't stop "yelling" he would have to have him removed from the store and then Dave delivered the double dog dare which is "Yeah? C'mon. Go ahead."

The Results

The manager, never having suffered a black eye in his whole 26 years, backed off.

I got a new computer (which was NOT purchased at Staples nor is it an Asus,) Computer From New Country is being shipped back to the fiery pit of hell from which it was created by Satan himself, and

now I am in debt to my husband for at least the weekend which is why as much as I love hanging out with you people, I gotta go shave my legs now.

comic found here

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