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Thursday, November 19, 2009

I have the feeling we're not in Kansas anymore


This is a good day.

As you might remember or if you don't I had a bit of trouble with iTunes and my old computer passing away after a lengthy illness followed by a sudden crash. Even though I thought I had "backed up" my music on my iPod, turns out that is not the accepted method of backing up your LEGAL downloads (according to the Word of i, which in the world of the Really Big Apple, is similar if not identical to the word of God.)

Well today I am here to say that all my legally owned and paid for music is back on my computer and my ipod. And I am happy.

In other news I have spent the entire day at home. It is raining non stop and since I did actually pay attention to the news and weather yesterday I knew this was coming and I stocked up on some stuff yesterday making it possible to be a hermit today.

Now onto the real subject. Dr. Oz. Does anyone else hate him? I really really hate everything about his new show right from the opening with the somewhat ominous heat beat to the scare tactics he uses to keep you from tuning him off during the multiple commercials.

Coming up next....how YOU can avoid death - FOREVER!!

All I can say is that television plus doctor does not equal comfort for me, and television with viewing audience the size of Oprah and medical advice/prescription advice spells possible affiliations with large pharmaceuticals. Just sayin.

I mean, lets just say one of the big drug companies were close to having some breakthrough drug ready for approval by the FDA, let's say maybe some drug that older people can take to prevent or treat HPV. I would imagine it wouldn't hurt sales for this new drug if Dr. Oz just happened to use his show to talk about the whole world of trouble people can get into if they (or rather when they) contract HPV.

And he could inform people that 70% of the population has HPV and that it has a suspected role in 5 major cancers, and that it has no symptoms, and that it tends to wait until you're babysitting alone and the kids are asleep and snow has made the only route in and out of your house impassible so that no one can save you even if they heard you scream and that's when this virus would sneak in the basement, wearing a mask, call you on the telephone and breathe heavy until you scream who is this and then it would say HPV in a really creepy voice. And if you hadn't watched Dr. Oz you'd probably think "Oh, thank God! I was afraid it was the Swine Flu!!" but of course you did watch Dr. Oz and you know that this threat is way more deadly because the swine flu has a vaccine (I hear, but it might be an urban myth) where HPV doesn't. YET.

I guess that would make a lot of people interested in finding out what they could do to make sure that this doesn't happen to them. First, they'd never babysit in the winter - no wait - they'd never leave the house at night. Wait, maybe not during the day either. And they'd never answer the phone. Or the door. Sex? Out. But wait, Dr. Oz says you don't have to have actual intercourse to get this virus, so well, maybe you could throw some surgical gloves and a mask in your purse next time you go out on a date. Still a little risky though. Maybe you could just stay in, watch a movie on pay per view and drink a glass of wine. Just don't forget to pull the shades and lock the doors. Until you get the vaccine.

Here's another statistic. In 2006, the number of deaths in the US was 2,426,264 with heart disease and cancer the top leading causes. So, the news I have to break to you is this. We are all going to die. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but someday. Even if you do everything Dr. Oz tells you.

On the upside the average life expectancy in the US is 78.11 years and 81.23 in Canada. Plenty of time for most of us to do something worthwhile with our time.

Something better than living everyday in fear.

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