Wednesday, November 4, 2009

For Sale, Gently Used Thermometer

Ok. I'm going to let you guys in on this first because I love you and all.

I have an extra thermometer and I'm willing to sell it to the highest bidder. I will give you the whole day today to leave your bid in the comments. (I'll consider barter.) I also have the only container of Lysol disinfectant wipes left in Toronto. (I can ship Internationally for a little more S&H.)

Yes, yesterday the market was completely out of thermometers and any other product that claims to kill germs. Apparently no one owns a thermometer or disinfectants until they are in a media inspired panic. Apparently everyone, completely overcome with irrational fear is running around buying stuff that is, to them, the equivalent of a lucky mojo bag to guard against the Swine Flu because the REAL preventative, vaccine is being rationed. I bet even the people who were against getting the vaccine want it now just because they can't have it, which of course makes you wonder if the vaccine is really scarce or if they just didn't create enough panic to entice those who were on the fence before to jump off it and roll up their sleeves.

It's the flu, people. This flu, like the regular old flu kills some people. In fact, this flu doesn't kill as many people as the regular variety flu. So take precautions and take it easy. Oh, and while you're standing in line waiting for the new shipment of hand sanitizers, how bout you resist smoking that cigarette.

Ok, enough. Start the bidding.

1 comment:

  1. I know I'm tempting fate, but I haven't had the flu in years.

    But then I live in a hermetically sealed house and make contact only with the cashier at my favorite sushi restaurant.

    I actually DO have my own thermometer, but I can't read it.

    Perhaps I'm dead.


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