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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Little House in the Air-ie


When I was a little girl I used to pretend to be a pioneer. I'd go into the woods and gather things, leaves, twigs, berries, etc., to bring home (home being a makeshift camp in the backyard) for dinner. I would mix all these things together with a little water and make a stew. We always had stew for dinner because that's what pioneers do - eat stew. Okay, sometimes they eat beans too.

When my friend's daughter was a little girl, she used to play bank. She'd count Monopoly money and put it into toy cash registers. She'd fill out forms she "gathered" from the real bank downtown and she'd make her mother sign them, agreeing to her interest rates, She'd insist that they be notarized before she would give her mother any play money. Today this girl is a highly successful financial executive.

And I am living on the land.

Today in Pioneer Land we are doing without which is what pioneers do. The thing we are doing without today is water. No, not without HOT water, but without any water.

Today is the day that the water "issue" will finally be resolved, or so we are promised via a notice posted in the elevator, which is how management communicates with us - via paper posting. In today's fast-paced technological world posting a notice instead of using an email list to communicate is kind of like depending on a town crier to keep you informed of world events, but that's the way it is with this management company.

Little do they know that many health-conscious people do not use the elevator, and hence are most likely completely unprepared for today's adventure in the wilds. Oh well. Many of these health fanatics haven't got a clue what's going on anyway, so this is just a small example of a much larger problem looming, a whole world full of very fit clueless people.

But that's not Pioneer Janine's problem challenge today. Today her challenge is living without water.

I have already filled the bathtub and a large canning pot (yes, I am a pioneer woman who has things like canning supplies) with water. I have bottled water to drink, I filled the tea kettle and the coffee maker. I have disposable counter wipes (antibacterial) and made plans to call out for dinner in case the water isn't on in time to cook (cannot make chicken without lots of water to wash my hands with - constantly.)

So the moral of this story my friends, is to watch your children carefully. Pay close attention to their "pretend" games as it turns out these are not merely games but practice for real life vocations. Give careful thought to what kind of play you encourage and discourage in your children.

Remember when the Apocalypse comes what skills will the survivors have in common? And what will be the universal doomsday anthem? Foraging over Finance, that's what. Oh, okay. Holy shit we are so fucked will also be very popular.

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