Well, truth be told there is no way to know. Actually there is, but by the time the test results come in, the Dave will have either recovered or died, so they no longer even test for swine flu. Basically they consider your symptoms, listen to your chest and say "Yeah, you could have the swine flu. Or you could have another flu, but we don't test because (see above.)"
Now remember, this is the SWINE FLU, the subject of panic headlines on every national and local news program in several countries for weeks. Now it's like "yeah, yeah, swine flu. Go home and take Tylenol and also? Wear this mask. Wash your hands."
At this rate when Judgment Day finally does arrive we'll all totally ignore the Emergency Broadcast System instructions and then we'll be at the mercy of those horrible robots with the red eyes.
But back to us. Dave has the swine flu and he's been home and determined not to be one of those guys that women talk about when they roll their eyes and say "My husband is home sick" and then all the other women look very sympathetic and pat the unfortunate woman-whose-hubby-is-home-sick on the back and promise to say a rosary for her, ask the force to be with her, slip her a small bottle of whiskey and the phone number for Dial-A-Psycho-Home-Nurse. So he's been behaving himself - not sniffing or moaning or delivering too many death bed instructions.
And I? I have been the most wonderful woman in the world. I made him vanilla pudding and everything.
It's great when my hungry week coincides with Dave's sick week. We also had ham and cheese sandwiches w/spicy mustard on toasted cheese bread. Cheese bread that was warm from the oven people. And beef stew, and biscuits.