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Tuesday, September 20, 2016

When You've been Gone Long Enough To Forget Your Password, It's probably Time to Come Back.



First, I want to say that I am well aware that I am writing this to no one.  However, talking to myself has been a life long activity of mine and so I am not only quite talented at this artistic endeavor , but I'm pretty comfortable with it as well.  So, there is no need whatsoever to feel the smallest amount of sympathy for me. I can handle that by myself, thank you very much.

You must be wondering why I decided to write again, or perhaps you haven't given it a thought.  Either way, I will be more than glad to share the reason.  You see, the idea came tome like most brilliant revelations - when I least expected it.  I was in the grocery store, which cannot be called a supermarket for obvious reasons (if not obvious you need only go into the archives of this blog.)

 While in this supermarket I was grumbling (the content containing mostly profanity.)  My less than happy mood, which, by the way seemed to begin the minute I got through the automatic door of this establishment, became more and more unhappy as I realized that, once again, the food had been rearranged and that my five minute stop at the store was now going to take approximately 45.7 minutes, depending on the amount of elderly folks who were  in the store, especially the ones who have mastered the art of growing very large at will, usually in front of the very shelf I need to get closer to.

I must admit, at first, things were looking hopeful.  Only about 50% of the food in the store had been relocated to places that no one in their right mind would suspect.  (personally, I've often wondered why we can't just shelve these things in alphabetical order, but what do I know? I've only spent about 4938,848, 20,292, 9,4002 hours in these establishments in my lifetime. )

ANYWAY,    with a surprisingly large amount of my must-haves in my cart, I decided to sneak back to the produce aisle where earlier they did not have what I needed but I figured by now a "committee" had been created  to revamp this part of the store and maybe there would now be a tomato or two to be had.  Instead, of course, redecorating was taking place. A large team of SPECIALISTS were anxiously studying the display above the produce (because as we all know, people who have three small children in a cart and have to pick another one up at soccer practice before making dinner, cleaning the kitchen and helping with homework are really concerned about the interior design of the nearest grocery store. )

However, this design involved pumpkins and apparently there is a special, VERY special way to arrange these seasonal  vegetables?  fruits?  Oh, Christ, I don't know what category they fall under, because I have never tasted one.  I just buy one every Fall out of habit, and eventually put them outside to rot.ANYWAY, as I was saying, There was a whole Pumpkin Design Team at work, the actual workers (aka kids) and the Pumpkin Design Specialist (aka clerk with seniority) monitoring the whole thing.  And in the end I was actually glad that I had happened to be in the wrong right place at the right wrong time because I had no idea that there was a certain amount of space that should always be in-between each pumpkin and that apparently if there is less or more of this space, something really really really awful might happen.


So in the end I learned a valuable lesson.   At this moment I don't remember what that lesson is, but if it comes back to me at some point I will let you know.


Namaste,

Princess S


  

3 comments:

  1. And where the hell have you been ? did you get permission to vanish ? You deserted me and left me to deal with my nutter magnet tendencies all on my own!!! Ive faced births marriages and deaths ..ALONE ...
    But hey its great to see you , ive now developed a strange attraction for people with comedy eyebrows, go figure

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  2. Kate! Welcome back. Where have you been???

    Sorry about missing the births, deaths and weddings. They can be hard to deal with . However, next try an exorcism. I hear those really test your..um...omething or other. I forget what. The truth is that my life lately hasn't been that unusual, hence boring. BUT don't fret. It's going to be Winter soon in my part of the world and that's when the crazy happens. Stay tuned!

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  3. This is exactly why blogs were created. xo

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