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Thursday, March 19, 2015

How Mr Freakin Crazy Stole the Spotlight from Me and My Morning Wine.



You know, no matter how weird things get, they can always get weirder.  Like, take a freak show, for instance.  These shows start with a few freaks that freak everyone out, but pretty soon there are more freaks, some even more freakier, or freaky in a different way, and so on and so on.  In the meantime, some of the new freaks make the old freaks look almost not-freaky anymore, maybe even normal, so they are no longer an attraction.  This is probably because people just got used to them, and because some of the people who love this shit were somewhat immune to the freaky from the get-go and so they need much much more freaky shit which at that point would be pretty hard to come by- so pretty soon no one goes to the shows anymore and there are a bunch of unemployed freaks collecting their unemployment checks without a chance of being offered another job.

Well, you've got to wonder just how something once thought so freaky, can suddenly be considered  not freaky at all.  Ok, maybe you don't have to wonder, or even want to wonder, but I have to wonder and I have.  And I do. All the time.

And this thought scares me a little, but also gives me hope.

You see, if this is true of a freak show, then it can certainly, even more easily be true about the Supermarket here in Small Town.  On the down side, the increase and strange acceptance of freaks will likely lead to the freaks being forced to take it up a notch, and more and more freaks added to the cast, but eventually, nothing will be considered freaky anymore and people will pay them no attention, and they will go wherever the hell these people go when they aren't considered weird anymore.  School Janitors?  Scout Leaders?  Who knows.

All I know is that today was the day that I saw freaky x 3.  I saw a man with multiple crazy.  You know, sort of like those guys that not only play one instrument, but play a lot of them and all at the same time.  You know, like this guy


Yeah, you see how scary this can be?  Well, the guy I saw started with a rather common form of crazy - talking to himself.  But he did it pretty loud and he did seem to be directing it to one of the customers in the store, which thank the lord above was not me.  There was lots of loud talking in the produce department directed at a young woman who quickly booked it out of there.  Then he decided to whistle. Then he burst into song.  The only thing this guy in the video has over him is the dancing bit,  - again, thank you Jesus.  As you can imagine I never threw veggies in my cart  so quickly in my life, and managed to lose the guy as I flew through each aisle and through the checkout.  But, there was still the matter of wine. 

Isn't there always?

Yes, it was before noon, but, before you go judging me,  here's what's happening in my life.  Snow.  Lots and lots of snow, that's what.  Lots and lots of snow that makes it hard to keep your home stocked with all the stuff you need - the stuff you really need because the snow is fucking with your brain.  So, the snow is everywhere, and  I was already out - and in this weather you only want to be out once a day, even if you look like a desperate lush. So I was out and decided to get all my chores done, even the kind that might cause people to make judgments about me that are only a little bit true.

So I was in the store, paying for my wine, when Mr. Freaken Crazy came in talking away to no one.  I said to the cashier  "Oh boy,"  and he said "uh huh" and that's how I successfully removed the spotlight from me and my bag full o' wine in the morning to The One Man Freak Band.   Unfortunately this freak had even another talent.  He sure could decide on his booze mighty fast - so fast that I was not even at my car and he was behind me yelling something about the government, lost pirate treasure, something I couldn't make out, and of course, the weather.




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