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Saturday, January 24, 2015

Grow Your Blog!!

 My Short But Meaningful History 
of Really Bad Homemade Things Crafting
And Other Pastimes



Hello Out There!!!  Thanks so much for popping by!  Yes, I am participating in Vicki's "Grow Your  Blog Party" again this year.   I know there aren't many rules to follow, which of course I love, but I always feel just a little mismatched with the others who join this blog party, as you know, I'm  cannot make a damned thing not really that crafty and keep imagining that I am.  Somewhere in my average size brain I believe that I will, one day, find a craft that speaks to my soul, one that sings the same song as my heart (and without showing off by singing it better) a hobby that results in creations that no one suspects I made until I tell them so.

Yeah, so clearly my brain isn't quite as large as I imagined.

You crafters are usually very nice people, (well, except for that really disagreeable woman who works in the local fabric store) and so I know you will understand when I tell you that I haven't managed to find a craft I do well for lack of trying.  I have been trying for a very very very long time.  I mean, my trying goes back to the 70's.    It all started when I got this one Christmas:



 This is the "Sew Perfect" machine designed for beginners.  The name of this product raised the hopes of countless unsuspecting, ever hopeful children who longed to create something that others could identify.  Yes, I was one of those very sad, yet hopeful children.

 I had grown tired of others asking questions about my creations, questions such as "what is it?"   I mean, just once I wanted someone to exclaim "Wow, that's a beautiful scarf!!" without the addition of "That's a scarf, right?"  The Sew Perfect promised to fulfill this dream, you know, because of the word PERFECT in its name.  It was a machine, a sewing machine, and in my twelve year old brain, during a time when we were told that pretty soon, machines were going to run, and perhaps even take over the world, I believed this to mean that machines would do all the work and we'd just lay around doing nothing, or fly around like the Jetsons while a robot housekeeper cleaned our houses and made our dinners.

So, I imagined that this machine knew how to sew.  Yeah, you know, like by itself, and maybe once in a while, especially when there was an audience,  I would just in front of the machine with my hands looking like they knew what they were doing, maybe guiding the material through the machine or something, while wearing the toy eyeglasses I bought at Woolworths, because close work tires the eyes.


When I found out that this machine was not living up to the predictions of those who are supposed to know what the future will hold, I lost interest, but not until I made a apron that looked like something from the set of "Little House On The Prairie" and my father embarrassed the bejesus out of me by telling me to show it to a complete stranger and watching him struggle to find the words that would not hurt me, but not lie to me either.  He chose "That's quite good, considering the machine you are working with."  Apparently he wasn't fooled by the marketing hype. Sew Easy was anything but easy.

From then on, when it came to my wish list, it was the easy way or the highway.  One Christmas I asked for this priceless example of the latest technology.

No work involved here.  No end result to be criticized in the most polite way possible.  Just close and play.  So I slipped a record in and closed.  And waited.  And waited. And waited.  And got close to the floor and looked inside.  And waited.  It never played a note.  It went back to the store and never returned, but my mother came home with a new dress.


Next I moved onto the stuff all the other girls were doing at the time, stuff like jump rope and advanced double dutch jump roap, and then this crazy waste of time:

 Yep.  That's cat's cradle and at the time I thought this was related to knitting or crocheting. (I guess because it was done with yarn or string.)  Soon I realized that nothing was created by doing cat's cradle but it looked fun and besides, everyone was doing it.  And more importantly it looked so EASY!!! 

Yeah, how easy does THIS look?


 Yeah, okay, maybe for YOU, but for me I might as well be reading some ancient symbol language carved into a large rock on the tip of a mountain somewhere very far away, which was thought to be something that wasn't even a language, really, but some sort of symbol type communication left by aliens and likely held an ancient curse.

Yep.  it was at that point that I made the decision to stick with my footsie, otherwise known as a skip-it

Obviously not a craft at all, but while the others were sitting making things
I was jumping around burning calories, so at least I was accomplishing something.


When older, I would send a lot of balled up patterns and fabric out windows in frustration,  join craft classes in which I made mickey mouse earrings that were supposed to look like daisies,  and knit things I never finished. Lots and lots of things.

Until finally, later in life, I found that what I really loved to do more than anything was write.  So I created stories and poems and sent long story-like-funny letters to my sister in California and now I blog my  funny stories of my life right here.

 And that's why, on this fateful day we have met, and I hope that we will keep in touch.  Feel free to become a follower, and stop on by whenever you can to read new posts, and dig into the archives.


Sincerely,
Princess Stupidhead




40 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. How is that for random? I visited your page yesterday and grabbed your craft image.

    Got you on my Feedly now ~

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    1. I know, right? No coincidences!! Thanks for visiting and adding me. By the way I visited your blog and love the quilt. I couldn't comment because I am not on Google +

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  3. Crafting may be elusive, but your writing is spot on. Love your talent. Enjoy the blog hop! Jennifer www.jennifersvintagepaperie.blogspot.com

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    1. Thank you!! Amazing crafts on your blog. I can just imagine what my attempts would look like. No, wait, I can't even imagine. :)

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    1. Welcome to Small Town. Don't get too excited. : )

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  5. Visiting via Vicki's Blog as Vicki's "Rep" and am thrilled to visit you and so glad you returned. Will put you on my Feedly too - perfect for a good read. I enjoyed your craft less tales seeing your images was a treat to my eyes. I am on an iPad and left a previous mess but cannot see it, so doing another. Choose the one you want I'd both show up. Hugs from Alaska. (karendorcas.com)

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    1. lol - that's my fun iPad for you - enjoy the fill in words. lol

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    2. LOL !! Sometimes I think about getting an ipad. But then I keep reading the not-so-good stuff about them. They are small and handy though especially when travelling. It's cool to talk to someone from ALaska. I am watching a reality real estate show that takes place there. It looks beautiful and cold. Thanks for stopping by!

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  6. LOL - what a delight to follow the GYB party breadcrumb trail to your doorstep.

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    1. Oh, I'm so glad you did!!! Hope you come back again. I'm dangerous when left unattended.

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  7. I'm not really participating in anything. I had a look at the blogs and thought... omg - do I have to have a craft to join this party? Si I read three of your blogs and thought, "what the heck, I'll just follower her because she's funny. I don't want to join the party - I can make stuff but I'm busy doing things I like.

    I have three blogs.... not to worry, you don't have to join squat. Like I said, you write some funny shit(I wrote on one post somewhere, I know). I like music ad I do a music blog. I have a regular blog where I talk about... talking.(?) My third blog is just jokes... most mindless pictures I scarf off the internet. They make me laugh, I post them.
    Okay, so I better go but I'll be back.

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    1. I blog where you talk about talking? Ok, I'm in. That's right up my alley. Thank you for stopping by and I hope you stop in every once in a while, just so I don't keep talking to myself. (I bore me.)

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  8. So nice to meet you! Love you blog. I loved my footsie too. Used it all the time! fun to see one again. Looking forward to getting back her to look around some more!

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    1. Thanks Jennifer! I wonder if footsies could replace the treadmill? They are a lot more fun and portable!!

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  9. Hello, so glad I clicked on the link via the Blog Party! You crack me up! I would like to get notifications about new posts via email, but I don't see a link for that. If you add one, kindly let me know. Blessings to you!
    http://bluejeansandteacups.blogspot.com/
    Heather

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    1. Thanks summer and thank you for stopping by!

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  11. I've been reading through your posts and can totally identify with your dilemma. I had to LEARN to be crafty by asking people what they thought of my art, and them telling me bluntly that it stunk. I've gotten better, but not until I heard some pretty harsh words. I laughed and laughed and laughed at your mother's new dress. I certainly didn't see that one coming.

    I really enjoyed visiting your blog. It was a genuine breath of fresh air.
    http://alteredbooklover.blogspot.com/2015/01/grow-your-blog-blog-hop-event.html

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    1. Thank you ! I didn't see my mom's new dress coming either. I thought I'd see a replacement for my christmas present!!! ????

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  12. OMG! I'm so glad I set my coffee down before reading this. I came over from GYB and guess I will have to stay now and read several more things. Thank you for the laugh. You caught a new follower.

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    1. Welcome Colleen!! Have a seat and stay a while. You may need a seatbelt from time to time. Safety first!! :)

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  13. You throw a great party. Thank you for inviting me!

    So that you know, I've become a Follower and when time permits, I'll be back to see what other beautiful things were made by your hands!

    What this party is all about is to GROW your blog and I'm hoping to do the same. When you get to Section One, check out A Country Chic Retreat and SuZeQ Creations, my personal blog, in Section Fifteen I'd love for you to follow and subscribe to.

    Happy crafting!
    SuZeQ

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  14. Princess S, you may not make any stuff (and that's ok because I make enough stuff for both of us) you make me laugh! I'm your newest follower. I enjoyed the party, I'll be back. Susan

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  15. I knew, the minute I saw your header that this blog was gonna be good - and I wasn't disappointed. Following you on Inoreader because I always love a laugh

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    1. Welcome!! And thanks for adding me to your reader. Be sure to wear your seatbelt. Some days are bumpier than others! :)

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  16. Hello Princess Stupid head!... I'm not steaming my vag either! good grief!!
    From a GYBer
    www.addicted2fabric.wordpress.com

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    1. I know, like we don't have other things to do???? Really.

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  17. Visiting from GYB, thanks so much for the laugh. You are so right about the lady at the fabric store, LOL!! Why is she always the one at the cutting table?! Great writing!

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    1. You know what? You're right!!! I guess cutting fabric isn't a joyous task. Or they just hire bitches for that job.

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  18. Am also a GYB visitor - I do love a good chuckle so shall follow along with you from here on in ~
    I always wanted one of those toy sewing machines ( oh and a train set, so I could make the landscape and trees etc for it) but mum didn't click on to my evident need - and dad said train sets were for boys!
    Mind you, he built 'me' balsa wood and masking tape remote control aircraft models which he flew, not me!

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    1. OHhhhhhh yeah, I have seen that old "DAD TRICK!" ha ha ha ha !! Yes, in my day trains were for boys. My cousin had an amazing train set and none of the girls were allowed to touch it. This sewing machine was a real machine, but very very very basic. I mean, once I learned to sew on that I was a PROFESSIONAL, although nothing I made on that thing looked professional at all.

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  19. Already a follower and love your stories to give me a laugh. Thanks for all the smiles.

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  20. Hello princess, I'm happy you have found your "craft" after all, you write so funny! Thank you for your visit to and sweet comment on my blog. Wishing you a beautiful day and sending you sunny smiles.

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  21. Wot a laugh! I'm here with my seatbelt on as instructed! Will be back!
    Wren x

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