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Monday, February 24, 2014

No Biggie Really




So I had a birthday recently.  Yeah, no big deal - I've had a lot of them.  I do not make a big to-do out of my birthday.  I mean, I know a lot of people who do, but I'm not one of those people. I have the usual two or three weeks of telling the husband what I want, during which I change my mind at least three times, and then I mention my birthday the entire week before in every conversation in which it will fit, even if I have to cover it in cooking oil to squeeze it through the tiniest opening. Yeah, I'm pretty nonchalant about it overall.

Strangely enough, it's rather easy to fit a mention into everyday conversation.  There are so many things associated with birthdays, the types of things you can claim reminded you of your birthday coming up.  You know, everyday things like candles and cake and speaking of Zippers, why hasn't this year zipped by?  I cannot BELIEVE this Thursday is my birthday  - again!  Feels like just yesterday when I had a birthday. Well, I'll be/ Whoa, time flies, eh?

And also? Every conversation during your birthday week which includes a mention of the day of week that your birthday falls on can be a super easy way to slip in a mention. When is that meeting again? THURSDAY ?  Really?  Oh, wow, Thursday is my birthday! I almost forgot!  So two o'clock?  Ok, I'll be there - wearing my birthday hat!  ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

Unlike a lot of people, I don't dread my birthday either. I mean, at my age, you are pretty relieved that you actually lived to see another one, so that whole birthday related depression thing doesn't really apply.

On my birthday I wake up and  I'm like"YIPPPEEEEEE!  I'M NOT DEAD!!!"

and then I check my pulse to be sure. And then I'm like YIPPPEEEEEE  I HAVE A PULSE!!

and then take my blood pressure and I'm like YIPPEE!!!!! I THINK THAT NUMBER IS KIND OF BAD BUT PROBABLY OK AS LONG AS I DON"T DO ANYTHING STRESSFUL OR STRENUOUS OR ALLOW THE BEJESUS TO BE SCARED OUT OF ME!!!!

And then I bound out of bed,  have 4 cups of coffee and a glazed donut to celebrate my longevity.  Yep, no birthday blues for me, man.

You know, let's face it, shall we?  Yes, let's.  Aging is a simple fact of life, a fact that I am well aware of,every single moment of every single day.  Yes, I'm pretty damned used to it, I tell ya.  Aging is such a part of my life now,  that when asked my age, I add on the half years like I did when I was seven, feeling that I should get credit for staying alive in more frequent intervals. I think when we reach 50 we should start celebrating half-birthdays too, you know, just in case we don't make till the next full one.  I wouldn't want to miss out on my yearly allotment of Haagen Dazs Rum Raisin just because The Angel of Death couldn't wait a few more months. That would really suck.

But yes, some people take their birthdays quite seriously and they too have a little trouble with the once a year thing.  I was once with someone who out of the blue accused me of "probably" not having anything planned for his birthday.  Now, this may not seem unusual to you, especially if you have had experience with the whole someone-forgot-to-plan-a televised-event-to celebrate-your big -day thing,  and now you are traumatized and need constant therapy, however after he said this I did a quick math calculation in my head (ok I used my fingers too but very discretely while hiding my hands under the bar) and I realized that I still had a good six months left to plan the big event.  Now that is real birthday anxiety, man.  Shit, I'll bet there are some serious illegal street physician-prescribed drugs for that one.  

Anyway, I do not make a big deal out of the day I was born.  But, unlike me,  some people tend to make rather a big deal over birthdays and some over every blessed everything, not just birthdays or anniversaries like normal people do.  Why, just today I got an invitation from a person who loves to get a ridiculous amount of attention throw parties celebrating her every little thing. Sadly, I had to decline the invitation to the Celebration of My Third Year of Botox Treatments Party, but well, I'm not much of a joiner, really, being as bashful as I am.

So here's to me another year older and not even a little bit grown up yet!   Mazel tov!

4 comments:

  1. Happy Birthday pretty lady...I'm glad you made it another year...please remember to forget my birthday this year!!!! It will be our new thing!

    ReplyDelete

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