Today I had a date with a woodpile. No, not him. This kind of woodpile.
Oh, did you think that was my woodpile? Ohmy, thank you for your support. No, this is Google's woodpile.
This one is all mine, baby. Glance at it and weep. I know I have, and more than once.
Note the touch of blue contrasting with the fresh crisp white snow, and the addition of the woodsy brown that adds just hint of country. A mix of rustic simplicity and sleek city dsyfunctionality, a kind of City vs. Nature that makes you wonder who will win in the end. Yeah. You know it. See all those "hills" of snow? Underneath is about 1.5 cords of wood, just waiting to be freed from about three inches of ice, and two inches of snow and guess what? More snow on the way. Good thing I have perfected my patented Hammer of Hell Log Release Method. ©™
This, my friends, is how Princess Stupidhead and Sir Dave Live on The Land. Yeah, the banjo playin' whiskey drinkin' sock darnin' way, just like our Granpaws and Granmaws. You know it - hog livin' is the life for me!
And HEY you know what ? IT'S OKAY!!! Over at Airing My Dirty Laundry, it's "Hey it's ok Tuesday" so it's now officially ok to have a really crappy wood pile that screams We don't know how to stack wood because it's our first time with a wood stove and these kids who were supposed to come stack the wood never called or showed up so I had to spend a whole day stacking and I had a really sore everything after and besides who can see it anyway because it's covered with snow and that butt ugly tarp which you can put silver or blue side up but both choices suck so who cares. It's ok. Really I mean it. Everything is going to be fine.
And you know what else is ok? Hey, It's ok that I'm a hoarder. You know why? Because it is necessary for survival, that's why. In this town there is often limited supplies, not to mention that I am not the only one with a Zombie Apocalypse Storage Area in my basement (ZASA, like NASA, only scarier because of the zombies and because it's in my basement.)
Yes, around here, many people
So, hey it's ok that I hoarded fire starters today because I can't start a fire for shit most of the time - I mean does that wood pile look like it belongs to an expert in combustible substance handling? No. It does not and I'm not afraid to admit it. Hey, it's ok. But it's because I'm sadly lacking in these skills that I will have to trade my body for fire during The Last Days, so they better come rather soon because otherwise no one will be willing to make that deal, although, the choices in available you-know-what will be limited, so hey, maybe it will end up being ok even if everything is all saggy and droopy and in the wrong place and all.
Still, maybe I should get a little better with fire, just in case.