Yes, I am participating in Vicki's Grow Your Blog party as enthusiastically as my boob (aka Right Sister) is pushing her way out of my bra right now!!
The reasons that I am joining the party is because (a) I am a girl who can't say no and I don't want to spoil my record which is getting closer to a Guinness nod every minute. (b) I need followers because, you see, I believe most of my followers have left because I recently took such a long hiatus from this blog that I found my picture on one of those Celebrity Dead or Alive sights in the dead section and (c) I fear that some of those followers have died of old age and will not return except to haunt and/or possess me, which could make for some interesting posts now that I think of it! and (d) It's time for me to make fun of my life again.
You see, if you don't make fun of your life, then life becomes real and I don't know about you but I can live without that, thanks very much. If I look for the funny in everything I find it, although most often it's at my expense, well, at least it's still funny and the stuff a blog can be made out of. Cheaply made, perhaps, but made all the same. (no warranty expressed or implied including but not limited to life expectancy of said blog, because of the fact that I am an admitted and convicted quitter.) *see note below before abruptly leaving. (yeah, good luck with that. I locked all the doors.)
Here is what you should know about me so far.
1. I am a quitter, but as this blog should illustrate, I even quit quitting, so there's always a chance that any absence could and likely will, be temporary. You have my sort-of promise here.
2. I am directionally challenged and yet I am strangely magnetic to lost people. I imagine they sense some sort of a bond with me, but don't realize that like minds in this case is not going to get anyone anywhere. So I am often asked for directions and since I am a girl who can't say no, I say sure, then proceed to help them get more horribly and hopelessly lost than they first were. And sometimes, when I'm bored I just give them the wrong directions on purpose because hey - there a GPS for that, mapquest, those newfangled high tech iNotepad thingies, good old fashioned maps, and other people who get paid to give directions. With me, you get what you
3. I am married to Sir Dave who tolerates a lot for this blog including pictures before 9:00 am and me breaking strict confidentiality by telling the world (via the internet) that he lied to Jesus, although granted, not to His face, but sending the message to those with a couple of degrees of separation perhaps. He was even a good sport about aking my blog followers on our secret honeymoon via my blackberry (that's how long ago we were married - I had a blackberry, can you believe it??? Wow. Those were the days. Seems like just yesterday.
4. I have wardrobe malfunctions almost daily. I'm not kidding. Buttons unbuttoned, zippers unzipped, clothes on inside out, boobs falling out of bras, rips, stains, mismatching socks. Again, embarrassing? Yes. Dull? No.
5. I live in a small town. It's not that nothing happens here, it's just that you have to look harder. I'm sure if you become a faithful reader, you will understand why I moved here. It was my royal duty. You see, a place like this must have a Princess because these guys need a leader, people. I'm not kidding. They're like all over the place man. And besides, the Queen is too busy.
So, if you are strong, brave, easily amused, not easily embarrassed or grossed out, well