Monday, July 12, 2010

Yesterday We Got Hungry and Then We Got Really Mad

I hate sports.

Ok, now that we have that out of the way, I don't even understand the appeal of sports - the appeal to the point that you cannot even fully enjoy sports by yourself. That on one of the hottest days of the summer you would stuff yourself into an overheated bar and watch a game on television that involves 2 countries - neither of which are your own. Why would you give up your cool air conditioned living room, or better yet, why would you give up a perfectly perfect beach day, sitting on a chair with the breeze of the lake cooling you off, to drink overpriced beer served to you by under-service-oriented under-friendly waiters and watch a game with a bunch of strangers?

Why would you do this, and in doing so make it absolutely IMPOSSIBLE for us to find a place to grab a snack in the middle of a Sunday afternoon in the huge city of Toronto (think Chicago size) ???

I don't know if you have an answer for that, and I don't want to hear it if you do. I just know that I hate you. And I hate sports I hate that because of you, Dave and I almost died from starvation, you bastards. You stole our city, our Sunday, our great sunny day moods. You forced us to make our own nachos. News Flash: We don't MAKE OUR OWN SNACKS ON THE WEEKEND. But people do desperate things when put in desperate situations.

And because of this experience, we are changed people. We've seen the light. From now on we will go no where without supplies - food, drink, an extra sweater, an umbrella and clean underwear. From now on, our beach days will include a cooler filled with things that do not require waiters/waitresses/or non-smoking sections/tables with umbrellas in the shade. Yes, sports fans of Toronto, you have disappointed me, you have angered me, but you won't break me. In fact, I thank you. Because of you I have seen the light. I have learned that in life, as in weekends in a busy city, you must "bring your own."

Amen brothers and sisters. You have been an important part of our karmic journey.

I still hate you though. I really do.


  1. Sports are the downfall of mankind. Well, except for curling. I like all that sweeping. Sweeping is good.

  2. sweeping - yeah, figures someone would make a competition out of a chore women have been handling forever - and no one appreciated - until there were rules and medals and such.

    I'm working on creating a sport involving ironing and bed making. I'll keep you posted.

  3. Count me in. I KILL at laundry.


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