Monday, February 8, 2010

I’m Probably Like One Person Away From Kevin Bacon Right Now

I get excited simply by my association to exciting things.

For instance, Susan of Trout Towers, one of the first blogs I ever followed, was on the radio Sunday night. Dave (also easily and continually excited) and I tuned it in on our computer (well, his because mine was whining for a plug in) and listened with the excitement saved for those who know those who go public. We may be Susan's imaginary friends, but Sunday night we were "with the band."

I want to also mention that Susan is about to graduate to a big girl URL, so I think that we all need to show up at her blog and show our support. Let's throw her a sort of "coming out" party, only heterosexual.

And speaking of with the band, and excitement by association, Dave's band will be at The Horseshoe on February 24th, the Horseshoe being a Toronto music venue with a history and a step up from their previous stomping ground. This time around they have a new drummer, and guest screaming guitar performances by Steve of the Order of Screaming Guitars (my name, not his, except for the Steve part, which is his most likely his parent's doing, if that is his name, I mean.) And of course there will be Bill of the Whiskey Voice, "S" Regional Manager in charge of guitars, and Dave of the Insane Keyboard Solos.

Their CD is close to being finished, and it is awesome and Dave doesn't know it yet, but when it's finished, I'm going to giveaway a few copies to certain lucky blog readers. You see, I may be so bold because I feel like I'm a real part of this thing - mostly I feel it in my arm muscles because art for arts sake is a wonderful notion, but without real commercial fame, there are no real roadies and so smart musicians, like Dave, choose sturdy Irish lasses to be their wives. Nuff said.

As for me personally, my fifteen minutes of fame is over. If you missed it, last week I was the second listing on a certain Google search and got over 100 hits on this blog in one day. Yep. That's it. Nothing to see here. Move along.

And finally, as for the condo situation, NOTE TO MY ASSISTANT, COOKIE: to be filed under Things I Might Do Because I Get Bored and I'm Turning Ten and A Half This Month- I am thinking of offering some awesome suggestions to the board via email. Here are some of my wicked cool ideas:

1. The "too many dogs" problem. The complaint : The dogs are walking through the lobby and they are in the elevator and often the dogs have "accidents" on the carpet in both areas. So, I suggest that we pay to have a dumb-waiter type doggie elevator installed and all dogs would have to be transported up and down in this device. The floor of this doggy elevator would be covered in easy clean ceramic tile. Also, no dog would be allowed to walk through the lobby. Owners would be required to pick the dogs up and transport them to the dumb doggy elevator. Obviously, this will solve the problem with oversized animals as (a) they will not fit in the dd elevator and (b) they are too heavy and smelly to carry. Problem SOLVED.

2. The "too many parties in the party room" problem. The complaint: People are having too much fun. Ok, no more party room. No more fun. That lovely 2 floor space complete with bar will now be turned into a grief counselling center/old age home for cloistered nuns. This will (a) eliminate the joy factor which as you know pisses off all those who do not enjoy the joy and (b) generate income for the condo. NOTE: the nuns and grieving people will be required to abide by all condo rules, including limitations on dog size, and messes on the carpet. Problem SOLVED.

3. Man hired to be a "superintendent" is really just a handy man. Right. He's fired, and we stop trying to pass off something for something else, which means we have to be bold and unafraid to be a little politically incorrect. We will simply hire a clown and instead of calling him our Super, we will call him by his real name Squeaky the Clown. Squeaky will use his powers of persuasion and comedy to amuse vendors into giving us good rates. He will laugh (or cry) when problems arise. He will do a lot of sweeping and washing of floors. He will insist that condo owners turn frowns upside down, resulting in better interpersonal relations between owners and management and he will solve condo financial problems by pulling coins from behind all the owners ears. Problem SOLVED.

I have no idea why I haven't gone further in life. I mean, really.


  1. heee! you said "wicked!"

    you can take the girl out of (random undisclosed location w/too many Dunkin Donuts to count) but you can't take the (random undisclosed...blahblah) out of the girl!!

  2. Yes, I have come to the realization that it may not be possible to take the wicked out of me. No matter where I go. No matter how far I travel. No matter how many Hail Marys I say. No matter how many girly drinks I have with certain people from a certain "ye olde" part of the world....

  3. My goodness, being an A-list stalker really does have its benefits!

    Thank you for tuning in. I was SO excited to know you were there.

    And I'm still waiting for my grown-up url. Waiting... waiting...

  4. Susan, yeah, that's what I keep telling people. Maybe now they will believe.

    No one was more excited than me! Ask anyone!


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