Thursday, February 11, 2010

Huge Improvements in Television Technology, Yet Cars Still Need Batteries. Discuss Amongst Yourselves.

We received an email today from the condo management today, who are most likely aware of our new vow of apathy, and want more than anything to push us right off the wagon and send us racing into a week long binge of seething emails filled with outrage and questions, many many questions.

They informed us that there are two car batteries in our parking spot in the garage and if we don't have them removed, they will at our expense.

I believe in the HR world, this is called "retaliation."

For what? You might ask. For being aggressive raving crazies in the most articulate way, via email. (That was pre vow-of-apathy.)

The batteries in question weren't always there, by the way, and they are not ours, and technically they are in this little nook next to our spot which I do believe we don't own. God knows who owns the batteries, but it's not us because we don't own a car. Ok, ok, little do they know that occasionally I strap one on my back and go shooting down the sidewalk at breakneck speed, but that's another story for another day after many many martinis.

Dave managed to stay calm and apathetic and just basically said in many more words "what batteries?" and suggested that they find the owners of said never-seen-before batteries before either of us goes and disposes of them. ha ha ha ha ha. Good one. Let's hear it for THE MAN!!! The King of Disinterest!!!!!

In other news, I kind of got a little mad at a homeless guy this morning. I gave him some money when I was going into the store - he was very thankful, called me sweetheart and all, which is really nice seeing it's Valentine's week, and you know, I kind of thought that when I left the store about 1/2 later he'd remember me. Maybe say "hi" or "thanks again" or "you look really nice today - did you just do your hair?" But not so much. He asked me for money again. Yeah, I was totally used. I feel kind of dirty.

And speaking of hair, I cut my hair a few months ago because it was mostly dead, and now it's growing back all healthy like, but it's at this point where it's to my shoulders which is causing it to flip up. Yes I have the 1960's flip made popular by Patty Duke and Mary Tyler Moore. I'm old so I'm sure most of you have no idea what The Patty Duke Show was, or even who Patty Duke is and God knows I'm always confusing her with Sally Field myself, but anyway.

The Patty Duke show was a fav of mine when I was a kid. It was about an American Girl, Patty (genius!) and her English cousin (also played by Patty Duke) whose name was Cathy. The only way you could tell them apart (physically) was that Patty had the hair that flipped up and Cathy's hair flipped under. It was easy to tell them apart otherwise because Cathy had the English accent and was a bit of a goody two shoes, and Patty had an American accent and was a total whore. Ok, ok, maybe not a whore so much, but let's just say that girl liked to get into a little trouble now and then. The whole thing was really badly done because they had like minimal technology then, hell televisions were practically new, so go figure.

Nevertheless, it was fabulous to me.

Oh, and I just checked dead or and there's a little happy face next to her name, so even if you never heard of Patty Duke or if you haven't heard from her lately, and you haven't mixed her up with Sally Field (that woman on Brothers and Sisters) then you'll be happy to know that she's alive but she's not on that Brothers and Sisters show. (happy face = alive skeleton face = dead, apparently no icon = now playing Madame Morrible in Wicked.)

So she lives on, and so does her hair, only on my head.

All's good.


  1. I was sitting in the Social Security office a few weeks ago with my mother, who had an appointment, and there was a video playing that encouraged everyone to use the Social Security's website to get their needs met. The star of that video was Patty Duke herself!

  2. oh my god. see? We are all headed there - even Patty and Cathy (British equivalent.)

  3. i saw patty duke on stage not long ago -- she's been in "wicked." still very much alive!


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