Hobo Like Me

You know, no one calls them hobos anymore. And most of us don't really give very much thought to hobos anymore either - well, except Libby (also known as Hominy Pete.) For some reason, this gal manages to juggle work, home, baby and hobos without breaking a sweat. She is just - well - exceptional.

And today she took time out from her busy day to give me a hobo name. I now go by JJ The Northern Traveler, because I am totally hobo like that.

And since you are now hopelessly stuck on this boxcar with me, you can relax and enjoy the story of JJ The Northern Traveler. But first you'll probably want to take a sip or two (Whoa! That's enough) from my bottle. My stories always sound better that way.

JJ was not always a Northern Traveler. In fact, there was a time when JJ rarely traveled. Oh, sure, there was that one time when JJ was a young bride and someone got the bright idea to take "a trip across the country" for a honeymoon - a two week honeymoon. But you smarty pants out there will have already realized you really can't see the country in 2 weeks, especially when you waste 3 days at a campy hotel in the Poconos, and you spend the rest of your time trying to locate the basement of the Alamo.

Although technically their car traveled as far as Yellowstone JJ mostly saw saw The Country as miles and miles of long roads viewed from the passenger window. She did see the sign for Boot Hill though, as they drove past in a hurry to get somewhere else or maybe just in a hurry to get the whole thing over with.

So JJ was not much of a traveler - turns out in more ways than one. But she had adventure in her heart and a harmonica in her pocket, so one day she packed herself a few PB and J's, a bottle of hooch and a few pairs of really great shoes and headed up north to find herself a new husband because so far relationships turned out to be much like her first honeymoon - trips to nowhere.

Maybe it was the adorable smudge of something on her forehead, or perhaps it was the adorable red bandanna around her neck - or it could have even been the ever-alluring Scent of the Road that attracted the right man to her. A hobo man - she knew right from the start. She could see it in his eyes. This guy was up for adventure and he wasn't afraid to dance a jig in a coal car with some toothless people in order to prove it.

And that man, as you may have already guessed, was Dancin' Dave and His Travelin Keyboard.

Dancing Dave and JJ were soon married and traveled a great distance to their wedding destination because duh they are hobos. They took all their friends along via Twitter and Blogger, and a couple of their bestest hobo friends, Mulligan Mary and Road Kid Roy came along to witness the whole thing and also to have their own adventure because duh they are hobos too.

And to this day, JJ The Northern Traveler and her hobo husband Dancin' Dave have great northern adventures.

And they never ever wear shoes.

The End.