Sunday, February 7, 2010

Don't Worry, We Are Still Gung Ho About Nothing

So, Dave and I are still gung ho on this whole apathy thing.

I mean even if we weren't I wouldn't give a shit, and neither would he, but I just thought you'd like to know what's going on.

As I told you before an if you were paying attention you will remember, this whole thing started because we got on the condo email list otherwise know as Satan's Complaint Department (as it accomplishes just as much.) This list encourages people whose name we can never for the life of us put with a face, to create enormous time consuming missives about what is wrong with the condo/management/other condo owners/kids these days and their suggestions regarding solutions to said problems. It's just riveting stuff.

But it's also infuriating and despite our best attempts we couldn't seem to keep our fingers from the keyboard and the reply button so we adopted the apathy philosophy and vowed never to send another email to the list, which wasn't hard for Dave because he had already mistakenly sent an email to them (the reply to all method of extreme embarrassment) and is now known in the building as Donkey Dave. But even if he were even mildly interested in replying to one of these emails, he wouldn't because I would fulfill my vow to hit him over the head with something heavy or suggest sex instead. So, anyway, we've stayed away from the list and we continue not to care.

But it doesn't matter because the cat is out of the bag. In the words of Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally, "Ooooh, call the police, it's already out there!" Yeah, it sure is, and the people who side with us and not with these 2 never-to-be-named other people on the board, want us. Bad.

And despite our (apparent) total ignorance to the hints that both Dave and I join the condo board, despite our shock and disbelief that people do not realize by just looking at us (never mind the emails) that we are of the generation of people who vowed never to serve, never mind be The Man, we were approached as we came into the lobby yesterday afternoon, our arms full of awesome bargains, to listen to the latest in condo shenanigans.

And then when the subject of The Phantom Rooms came up (the ones we didn't till recently know existed even though we've lived here 1.5 years) like the library and the party room, Dave and I made the mistake of mentioning again that we had never seen these rooms, hence the tour began.

The tour was fascinating - I had no idea stuff like parties and reading went on here. Not a lot of reading, however, since the library was a huge, total waste of space with one bookcase that housed encyclopedias from 1962. Still lots of space that could be generating income instead of doing nothing, however, people I don't give a shit and neither does Dave because we are uncaring unaffected, uninvolved individuals. Yes, apathetic individuals with better things to do like get home to admire our loot and get ready for dinner guests, which is what we did.

And I think we came out of that very admirable attempt to interest us onto the board unscathed.

But then, even if we didn't, who cares? Not us, man. Not us.


  1. Yeah, why people think you guys have all the answers I don't know. I mean, I'm just empathizing with you here cuz I get the same thing. Peeps are always bowing to me and saying stuff like, "Oh, FL, you are like light from above. Shower your wisdom down upon us." And I'm like all, "Well, oh, okay." So I totally get your message here.

  2. Yeah, and I'm always suspicious about that stuff too because usually it's like "hey you are like God and I have lots of stuff I want to beg and pray for you to do for me." I'm thinking not, but then again, bad management means more $$$ for all of us. So.....


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