Yeah. I don't know why. It's deep, people. It's cosmic, this thing. It comes from some primal part of my brain, from the darkest parts, from that part of me that doesn't really want to go to the party, but goes absolutely apeshit if I'm not invited.
So I have to be a part of this thing called Facebook and I don't really know why, but I decided that, if nothing else at all, it's a good psychological exercise because of my privacy issues that at times have bordered on the insane.
See, I figure that if you're like me, a person who is borderline obsessively
So anyway, that's why I got back on Facebook. I did it for you guys.
And now I'm absolutely hooked. I just love looking people up and realizing that (a) damn it I'm so freaking old, (b) a lot of people of my age don't use the internet much and/or are in the Witness Protection Program (c) some people really look good for their age because they haven't changed much, but these people were the ones that looked 50 when they were 24 so it really doesn't count, and (d) - well, that's it. We'll stick with three observations for now.
Most people say to me "Wow, Janine you look happy!" and I say "thank you" but what I'm really thinking is what the fuck did I look like before???? Holy shit, all this time I thought I looked ok but in reality I must have had this absolutely horrific angry face on all the time. And I'm Irish and if the Irish don't make a point to constantly smile we look like we don't have any lips, so now I'm thinking I've spent most of my life without lips and that explains why my first husband always wanted me to get collagen injections (but I said no way cuz I'd look like Bernadette Peters for sure or Betty Boop) and the thing is? He was partly responsible for my lip-lackage so I suppose it would have been fitting that he'd spring for the collagen treatments, but still. I must have looked hideous.
So now I want to hunt down everyone from my past who might have thought that the face I used to wear (the one without lips) was my real face and I want to show them my real face so they don't go the rest of their lives remembering me as that sad looking lipless girl.
So, anyway. That's what I'm doing these days. Finding people so I can set them straight about me once and for all.
This could take a while.