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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Brace Yerself, Bridget!!!

There has to come a time when a spouse regrets marrying a blogger.

Or if the spouse wasn't married to a blogger before the wedding perhaps he eventually comes to regret doing anything to encourage or enable the spouse to be a blogger whether it be buying the computer or snickering at one of her first posts or even agreeing to co-host the blog. Anyway, my point is that eventually there has to come a time when the spouse will feel a twinge if not a downright excruciating pain of regret about the whole association with the blogger thing.

I think this might just be Dave's moment.

You see as of today, our sexual foreplay has officially changed from the "you're the most beautiful creature in the world" stage to the "let's go" stage.

Yep. He said, "Let's go." You can't make this shit up people. That's what he said.

Now in his defense he knew he said the wrong thing. And not wrong as in me running to the bathroom and crying my eyes out and then spending the rest of my life making up excuses for not being up for sex, anything from herpes to a sore baby fingernail to fear of wrinkling my nightgown - but wrong in the I am never going to stop saying "lets go" at the beginning of sex or any other time I can sneak it in and worse? I was going to blog about it.

So here it is. The blog part.

The other part is pretty much the way it is with me. My first husband, annoyed by the fact I wanted to go somewhere one weekend, said "Let's go so we can get back," which I have continued to say before going places to this day and I think he said it at least 20 years ago. So you get the picture. "Let's go" is now part of our "language." And also the "let's go" story will become part of our family lore (the rated R part of the lore where you have to show ID to read.)

So in conclusion, we have begun to write the chapters of our Family Mythology - yes, mythology. You know damned well that family stories are at the least embellished or adapted or stolen or occasionally completely made up. Re: Stolen - One time my mother told a story that I recognized as mine. No lie, true story. I didn't have the heart to take my story back because I have a million of them while my mother sadly has well, none except for the one she stole from me.

I'm nice that way.

9 comments:

  1. Nope. That one isn't doing it for me.

    Say "Let's go" again....

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  2. Let's fucking well go so we can get back.

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  3. You two are cracking me up. Gotta go so I can go practice this new foreplay technique on Mr. Peach Tart.

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  4. how about, "let's go so we can get this thing over with...?"

    hot, no?

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  5. Peach Tart - good luck with that. I think it might work better on guys. PS. I read your blog in google reader but I can't actually comment on your site because my internet explorer always shuts down.? ?

    Terry - oh that is hot. I bet that would work REALLY well w/Dave if I try this before a big televised golf game.

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  6. hum....never heard that from anyone before...what operating system are you on

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  7. Let's go! I love it. That's more romantic than anything my husband has to say during foreplay, sadly enough. My husband rarely reads my blog, but if he did I'm sure he would be annoyed that he's married to a blogger.

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  8. Peach Tart - windows XP

    Gwen - well, I just like to call attention to this behavior in a grand way - like on the internet where not only can everyone find out about it, but others can comment about it. But mostly I do it because I love the pretty talk and let's go isn't cutting it for me.

    I don't think he's annoyed as he wouldn't waste his time knowing there was fuck all he could do about it. He's smart like that.

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