Saturday, May 16, 2009

I do a lot of walking around the city. The weather is finally starting to resemble something "seasonal" so there are many little kids/babies being strolled around. Yesterday I saw a little boy wearing a bright orange cowboy hat, and although he was grinning from ear to ear I had to wonder "did he choose his outfit or did his mom?"

Then with the speed of light I witnessed an Inside The Brain Slide Show (ITBSS) pictures of my kids wearing all the hats, sunglasses and outfits I dressed them in for my own selfish amusement. And then I spewed out this question to Dave, who just so happened to be with me at the time so I didn't have to use my keen telepathic skills to inquire this of him.

"What if our mothers still dressed us?"

The horror was tangible.

Quickly I tried to remember my mother's "favorite" outfits and I easily recalled a little sleeveless cotton sundress with the pattern of newsprint on it. Yes, WTF indeed.

I easily remembered it because I think I was stuffed into it approximately 382,405,083 times. Did I like it? Not particularly, but then I attended Catholic school and the nuns taught me through threats, fear and corporal punishment that I should be grateful for things like clothes and feet.

I also had a hideous pair of pajamas that were basically giant leggings with feet. And also? They were striped, red and white. Originally I think they were a Christmas present but again I wore them so many times that eventually - due to normal wear and tear and the fact that I was still growing - they made me look like a slightly homeless candy cane.

And yes, of course there is photo documentation somewhere. Most likely my sister has it in her "Photos to Blackmail Janine With" file.

So, mommies out there who have been waiting all your life to dress your little sweetie in pumpkin pajamas please for the love of God have the decency to do it before he/she has any chance of remembering it and no matter what don't take any photos which can, later in life be stolen by an older sibling with too much time on her hands.

In the comments, feel free to share the most embarrassing outfit your mother dressed you in, and/or the most horrifying thing you dressed your own kid in or the worst thing your mother dressed your sibling in and then took a picture, which you now have in your possession. On that note, if you send me said photos I will be happy to post them for the whole internet to see.

UPDATED: Dave decided to be the first to share. Yes, it's true he has no shame whatsoever.

Ah, yes, his mother waited a long time for a baby boy. I bet she eyed those sweater vests and little shorts with envy until one day God blessed her with her very own son she could humilate through wardrobe choices.

Note of Caution to Moms Out There: To this very day, Dave wears shorts non-stop from the middle of April until November 1. So think twice before you stick an orange cowboy hat on him is all I'm sayin'.

Although nothing says no style whatsoever like plaid pants Dave does make an attempt to hold onto a shred of style sense by making sure his pants are form fitting in true late '60's early '70's style.


  1. My Mom still tries to dress me. She doesn't like anything that shows cleavage -- which is half of my wardrobe.

  2. My mom is always buying me clothes in a vain attempt to get me to dress like an adult. I actually think I would benefit from being dressed by my mom today. Maybe that way I wouldn't have gone to Dunkin' Donuts this morning wearing a man's V-neck T-shirt, knee-length sweat pants, Christmas socks, and sandals.

  3. Libby - she's just jealous - obviously.

  4. JD - oh god - that kind of makes me want to adopt you myself.


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