Mama's Got A Brand New Bag

If I were suddenly kidnapped and forced into the way back machine, and was sent not so way back, but perhaps a little way back, say like maybe 20 years, I'd know just what to invent before they discovered that I was not only from another time but also? a pain in the ass and I found myself bound and gagged and stuffed right back in the machine and shot right the hell back to the future.

The perfect bag. That's what.

Yes, we're talking purse, man bag, briefcase, suitcase, fanny pack, back pack, you name it because everyone is always searching for the perfect bag.

And now that we find ourselves in this Everything is Green Time Where We All Have to Save the Earth Because The Whales Are Ok Now, every supermarket and small specialty store has invested financially and creatively in their own kind of "eco-bag" and each one is trying to out-do the other and let me tell you what - I like to try them all!! (just to be sure)

And here are my ratings.



5 stars - The LCBO bag. This bag is great because (a) it is waterproof and (b) it has a reinforced handle strong enough to carry all your boozy needs and (c) you can carry all your booze in it. They also have a small version with six cozies for single wine bottle toteability.













4 stars - Loblaws large and small canvas bag - Not waterproof but possibly water resistant however stretches to hold way more than you could ever carry without a pack mule. I also like their green plastic carry all (not pictured)as we really needed a recycle thingy with a handle to bring our empty wine bottles to the recycle center. Something STURDY.







3 stars - The Metro waterproof bag. Just like the LCBO bag, but no reinforcement on the handles and no stretch capability as in the Loblaws version, so kind of limiting but bright and colorful and only 99 cents so what do you want? Really. C'mon.









2 stars - Those other mass produced sort-of-canvas cheap things that are well, just awful. Flimsy, not really made of real stuff and I suspect made of materials that will do in the Earth faster than Styrofoam peanuts coated in toxic waste.














1 Star - Store bags that used to be free but now cost anywhere from 2 to 5 cents a piece and are made to last less than one use because if we are going to insist on killing the planet we need to pay for it and also? Suffer. A Horrible Horrible Fate Worst Than The Apocalypse or hemorrhoids.