Saturday, January 10, 2015

Remember, You Didn't See Me.

Now, I know that I have may have presented myself on this blog as a completely normal, rather timid, awfully polite person who rarely says a naughty word, but there is something I have to let you in on, simply because apparently one doesn't grow out of Catholic guilt.

I avoid people.  I suspect I avoid more people than most ordinary people tend to avoid.  I've actually reached the point where I no longer consciously know I'm doing it.  It's like my body is on autopilot and suddenly I am helplessly controlled by an invisible force.

I find myself seamlessly transitioning from happily walking into a store to fast-walking back to my car again, or from heading towards a checkout, to faux-forgetting something in aisle two, simply because of something as simple as a familiar voice, or a ridiculous outfit which is obviously way too young for the person wearing it, like 52 years too young, or it may even look like it came from another time period. Or a certain sickening smell. Anyway.  I'm sure you have the visual and even the sensual now.  Let's move on.

Unfortunately, in a small town it's really really really nearly impossibly hard to avoid running into people you'd rather not run into.  It's like a high school reunion every single day.  And every day, I find myself spoting  someone that I must avoid. I've begun to call these "sightings." I text Dave when I have one, just so we can keep a record of it, like Those People do, the ones that  believe they've seen an alien space ship because, this isn't that different, really.

 Yeah, it' s all fun and games until you find yourself forced by manners and that damned human decency to stand around for at least seven minutes having a conversation with someone you really never even want to wave to unless it's from far far far away, someplace where they can't easily wave back and then walk over to talk to you, like you know, from a train, or an airplane just about to take off, or from an elevator as the doors are closing and you've got your finger on the "close door" button just in case.

I've found myself involved in long-ish conversations with these people in public places where you can't say the things you really WANT to say to them,  and I'm going to tell you right now, I'm surprised I lived through it. I mean, I lived, yeah, but I'm not right.  Come to think of it, I've never been the same, really.

So, can you blame me for my tendency to avoid?  No, neither can I.  I am completely off the hook, and I might be even normal-ish.

THE END. So far........


  1. The worst is when your hungover...I can't stand myself then... never mind some twit that isn't even smart enough to decipher the look on my face!!!

    1. well, they probably aren't looking at your face, because, it's YOURr face, after all and why should they look at that? All about me, me , me ,me!!!!

  2. Oh no I have those text conversations , I was cornered the other day by someone who thought I was there best friend and wanted to tell me about the affair they were having......maybe we just attract them?

    1. You're probably the only person who hadn't cut her off, after listening to her endless stories.

      I may attract them, but if I do it's because I haven't been using my cold stare of death as much as I used to


Please attach soul and sign in blood. Thank you, The Management