Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Everything I Wanted to Forget I Learned Once Again On Facebook

I think it's time to make it perfectly acceptable for adults to play with toys.

No, let's take it even further. Let's not expect kids to grow out of toys at all, whether it's blocks or dolls or games because - let's face it - we really don't. Games and toys become more challenging, expensive and sport more adult-sounding (grown up) names, but they are still toys and we love playing with toys.

And I think it's mostly because we don't find each other amusing anymore.

This point (oh and so many others over the last year) was driven home today by something I saw on Facebook.

See, no matter how many FB friends you have you can be sure that there will never be enough to entertain you because it seems we've all lost the art and the joy of social interaction. We no longer can sit comfortably in the same room with others and resist turning on a movie, television, Xbox, or browse through an iPod.

And for purposes of this blog entry, simply substitute the word room for Facebook and the words movie, television, Xbox and iPod for quizzes, YouTube Video, Survey, Tagged Picture etc, etc.

At first it was fun to update your status or comment on what others are doing. And it was cool to send a FB message to someone you haven't talked to in a while to ask him/her how he/she is and what's been going on with him/her. But that fun, like every other latest thing, was short lived because, you know, it involved getting slightly involved with others and asking/talking about real life thingies.

So to break up the monotony, you are now constantly "invited" to take quizzes, peer pressured into letting everyone know what color your bra is, or to look up your name in the online Urban Dictionary and post said "authority's" definition of your name in your FB status. And don't get me wrong I've done all these things because quite frankly I miss my Barbies and most FB friends are kind of dull.

But - because, if you're like me, you have most likely completely forgotten who your FB friends are, ( let's face it, you merely responded to their Friend Request which most likely didn't even include a personal note and you probably never conversed with them since then (in person or cyberly) you now, apparently, must make sure that they still are REALLY TRULY your friends by demanding that the proclaim their undying friendship to you by pressing the "like" button after a juvenile post that infers that only REAL friends will push the like button and dares you not only to push the button, but to post a copy of this moronic, whiny, schoolgirl post on your own status update and persuade more than 10 TRUE FRIENDS to push the Like Button.

Sighing here. One moment. Ok, sorry.

Anyway. This is all fine. But I have a question.

If I push the Like Button, am I proving that I merely like or like-like this person I haven't spoken to since high school? That's what I want to know.

I mean, you can only push the Like Button once and that's too bad because I like lots of people, but I only like-like a few. Only a few get to wear my friendship bracelet. So, before I make this kind of commitment, I'd like to know what is implied by "like" in this instance.

And if I push the Like Button, do I have to start wearing certain clothes or my hair a certain way? Are my shoes right? Will I have to sit with these people at lunch everyday?

And look, quite frankly, the last thing I want is for everyone on FB to know who I like-like. Because you know, what if she/he doesn't like-like me back?

I'd shit twice and die, that's what.

I so would.

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