Thursday, January 7, 2010

This Makes Me Want To Blush

So I asked my resident expert on all things girly what he thought of Maybelline's cheatin' no good, just plain wrong method of selling cosmetics, and he said that he felt while it was certainly not an honest way of doing business, these deceitful methods have been in practice for quite some time and have been proven effective at increasing sales evidenced by multi million dollar sales of cosmetic products, even in difficult financial times.

Because, let's face it, it's one thing to be poor, it's another thing to be ugly.

My expert, shown above sporting the latest in downtown urban accessories, feels that this kind of trickery actually began with the whole "Wash, rinse, repeat" method of shampooing. Simply by adding these instructions to the shampoo label, double the amount of shampoo was regularly used by consumers, resulting in record sales. To this day, consumers still believe it takes two washes to truly clean your hair. I happen to be one of the consumers who never bought this hooey, but then, I was also one of the consumers who actually purchased "Psssssssst" that spray on, no water needed shampoo in the early 70's, so what do I know?

Ok, let's get to the point of this post which of course is me and my experience with a certain product - Maybelline powder blush.

I have been using this stuff for years, and I think there is actually only once that I actually used all of the blush before needing to buy another. Usually I do something dumb, like drop it on the floor and it breaks into a million pieces and so I have to buy another. Then I used to find that it never really survived a trip on an airline without again, breaking into a million pieces. So I started getting just a little more careful with it, making sure to open it gently, to put is safely back into it's padded makeup bag, etc. And guess what? Still, sometime around maybe the 10th use, a million little pieces again. That's when I realized what was REALLY happening.

At first, I was quite stubborn and refused to buy another, simply brushing all the little pieces together with a large brush before slapping the color on my cheeks. But let's face it. Sooner or later you are going to slip and drop the container and splatter the pieces all over the floor.

Anyway, if you do happen to have a compact of Maybelline blush that you do manage to use completely without it breaking it you'll probably get months out of it, but that is really never going to happen because Maybelline does not want you to get months out of it.

They want you to buy the product over and over and over again. And you do. Isn't this crazy? You do because, like me, you like to look around your crazy little world and blame all the wrong stuff on yourself. YOU dropped it. YOU packed in your check in luggage (remember carry on/check in??? Oh, those were the days) YOU didn't pack it in bubble wrap before putting it away. It's only after about the 200th time it crumbles within a month that you start to say Hey wait a minute.

And by then you have already contributed greatly to the wealth of this multi-million dollar corporation who prey on the colorless of the world, who laugh as their pitiful attempts at joy crumble before their very eyes. Yes, you are a stupid consumer. I am a stupid consumer. And that's why they are rich and we are not.

And also why I look so pale today.


  1. Love you blog!I know this post is from quite awhile ago, but this is a pet peeve of my own. I recently learned that you can add plain rubbing alcohol to the crumbs and stir them up, then let the alcohol evaporate and the blush is good as new. But then, this post would have been nearly as funny.

    1. Wow, great tip!! I am probably going to have the same blush for years now. Thank you!


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