Today Dave woke up with an ear infection.
So I did the usual testing including announcing "Guess what? I'm pregnant!" and then just to confirm, I told him I was strangely attracted to the dog across the street. He responded indifferently to both confessions and so because we are not yet in the stage of our relationship where he is just basically indifferent towards me all the time, I was pretty convinced that there is something awry with his ear. Hence I grabbed this opportunity to tell him about the new purse I bought. Leather soft as butter. He nodded and smiled, kind of like that woman who works at the dry cleaning establishment down the street. (Perfectly lovely woman who doesn't understand a word I say.) I responded to his oblivious smile with a signed version of I love you.
Now he's off to the clinic where he will undoubtedly be exposed to Babe's Revenge. But that's all I want to say about that because quite frankly this pandemic thing is starting to get old. I really wish that the media would stop ruining my perfectly lovely day of fantasizing and escapism by reporting on such things. I mean it's Mexico, right? Far far away. Someplace where they apparently kiss pigs and such and so I don't really have to worry about that besides there are pretty pillows to buy for the guest room and I wonder if I should try a hair- straightening tool?
Warning: Abrupt subject change. You know how all these celebs are using Twitter now? Well, I was
I said I'D FORGET ABOUT THE PIG FLU!
UPDATED: Ear Infection Confirmed. Doctor said "I just kissed a pig" and Dave said "What?"
Doc handed him a prescription.